Sunscreen, Eye Cream...

Years ago (and maybe they still do ), Essence Magazine had a special issue that featured women who they deemed “ageless” beauties. These women, typically 60 – 100+ years of age, were celebrated by the publication because they appeared to have found the fountain of youth. More often than not, they appeared to be at least 30 – 50 years younger than their actual age might suggest. As a teenager and twenty-something, I pored over these issues, trying my best to figure out the secrets to their youthful appearances.

No fancy skincare, elaborate exercise routines, or complex mental health regimens appeared in the pages of this issue. However, year after year, some non-glamorous basics did emerge – lots of water, simple but intentional skincare routines, spiritual practices such as prayer and meditation, exercise, and healthful eating. Admittedly, I always felt a bit let down that there was no holy grail product that would ensure that one day, I, too, would grace the pages of Essence during this issue, that someone would look at a picture of me and say “no way – she’s how old?”

Without a doubt, I’d say these amazing women were likely experts in self-care, attending intentionally to their mental, physical and emotional selves. I’ve been working on this – checking in often to determine what I need in order to show up as my best self. The answers to these check-ins vary depending on what’s going on in the rest of my life – sleep, rest, water, exercise, a crossword puzzle, a manicure, pedicure, or time with loved ones. The result is often immediate relief and a shift in my mood, attitude, and/or perspective.

But I wonder if the kinds of outcomes they had might also signal a slightly different type of attention. What if these seasoned sisters were also demonstrating a commitment to self-nurture, making intentional choices that would benefit their future selves, the selves we were blessed to see on the pages of Essence.

Self-nurture means I might not see or feel the benefits of what I’m doing now but I’m making an investment of time, resources, good choices, and effort into the growth and development of “future me” versus who I am right now.

Self-nurture means I might be doing some things now that are uncomfortable or inconvenient but are seeds that, Lord willing, I’ll get to see bloom and enjoy later.

Like more water and less caffeine; more reading and less social media; more stretching when I’d rather just run and get it over with; more balanced self-celebration and less harsh self-critique; more authentic “nos” when fake “yeses” would be easier. Like discontinuing relationships that don't serve sooner when doing so later (or not at all) feels more comfortable. Or even little things like more attention to small but important habits like applying sunscreen and eye cream everyday when I’d rather get on with my day or night.

No doubt, the lines are blurry between self-care and self-nurture. We’re likely all doing a combination of both. But something does shift for me when I intentionally think about planting seeds for "future me", about sowing into the woman I’m becoming. I’m much more inclined to do those things that I don’t feel like doing now when I know my own growth, development are on the line. I want "future me" to be proud of me, of us, of what we’ve become (and what we’re becoming), whether I make it into Essence or not.